Creating Clarity - Part 1

Creating Clarity - Part 1

Oct 16, 2023

A Sensibly Selfish Series for Self-Space


The age of 45 often ushers in a unique set of time-related challenges. The juggling act of family, career, and personal aspirations can feel like a high-stakes tightrope walk. It's easy to succumb to the pressure of societal expectations, to stretch ourselves thin in the pursuit of 'having it all'.

However, it's crucial to recognize that 'having it all' is not synonymous with 'doing it all'. It's about making conscious choices, and discerning where to allocate your resources. It's about entrusting others with tasks, seeking support when needed, and embracing the beauty of imperfection.

Can you relate to Nikki’s story?

“It was one of those mornings, the kind where the clock seems to have a personal vendetta against you. As I stumbled out of bed, I was greeted by a whirlwind of chaos. Papers were strewn across the kitchen table, a calendar that looked like a modern art installation, and a phone buzzing with reminders I had no clue what they signified. It was as if my life had taken on a chaotic persona of its own.

With a sigh, I reached for the coffee pot, hoping that the caffeine infusion would somehow sprinkle a bit of order into the madness. As the warm aroma enveloped me, I couldn't help but chuckle at the irony. Here I was, desperately seeking solace in a cup of coffee, hoping it held the secret to taming the unruly beast of my day.

As I took that first sip, a realization washed over me: this wasn't an isolated incident. It was a snapshot of my life in its current state. A life that often felt like a jigsaw puzzle missing a few critical pieces. A life where 'to-do' lists seemed to multiply faster than I could tick off the items. It was a life in need of a plan, a purpose, and a touch of clarity.

And so, with that coffee mug cradled in my hands, I made a promise to myself: it was time to embrace clarity, find a path through the chaos, and reclaim ownership of my time. It was time to organize myself, not as a luxury, but as a necessity for the journey ahead.”

Why Bother?

Many women in midlife ponder the need for planning when they believe that a greater force charts our course. Yet, within this belief lies the understanding that there are multiple routes to our destinations. It's in our best interest to make this journey as smooth as possible.

Developing an agenda, akin to crafting a detailed map, not only carve out time and space - two precious commodities often in scant supply during this phase of life - but also grants us a semblance of control amid the surrounding chaos.

Time Speeds as We Age

As we age, the tempo of life seems to accelerate, making the judicious use of time a paramount concern. "Regret" - a word that often carries the weight of missed opportunities and unfulfilled potential can easily surface at this stage of life. How many times have you looked back and thought, 'If only' I had taken a moment to plan, to consider the consequences of my actions before leaping forward?

In the whirlwind of responsibilities and transitions that midlife brings, it's not uncommon to find ourselves scrambling, leaving planning either for the eleventh hour or fatally entrusted to someone else. However, with some thoughtful adjustments, we can steer towards a Sensibly Selfish agenda.

Taking Control: Planning, prioritizing, and crafting our time may sound like a daunting task, but the dividends are immeasurable. Relish the thought of maximizing every moment and reserving a treasure trove of time for life's pleasures. It demands deliberate consideration, yet the more one engages in this practice, the more adept you become. In this post, you will find out what to do, read on…

The Journey Within: Understanding Your Priorities

In the hustle and bustle of our daily lives, it's easy to get swept away by the external demands and expectations placed upon us. However, the true compass for effective organization lies within, in the depths of our self-awareness.

Self-awareness is not just a buzzword; it's a cornerstone of finding clarity in the chaos. It's about peeling back the layers, acknowledging our strengths, recognizing our limitations, and understanding the rhythms of our own unique existence. It's a process of introspection that allows you to discern what truly matters.

As you cross the threshold of midlife, a subtle yet profound shift in priorities often takes center stage. The clamor for external achievements may soften, replaced by a yearning for deeper connections, meaningful pursuits, and a genuine sense of fulfillment. It's a juncture where the essence of your desires undergoes a metamorphosis, guided by the wisdom garnered from years of experience.

These shifts are not to be dismissed, for they hold the key to a more purposeful existence. They are the whispers of our authentic selves, urging us to reevaluate, reprioritize, and realign with what truly resonates with our souls.

How to Journey Within

But how do we embark on this journey of self-discovery? How do we sift through the myriad of aspirations and responsibilities to discern what holds the most profound significance? It begins with identifying and ranking our core values and intentions.

Start by carving out a quiet moment, a sanctuary of stillness amidst the clamor of life. Take a deep breath and let it out, allowing the weight of the world to momentarily lift. Then, gently turn your gaze inward.

What are the principles that anchor you, that serve as the bedrock of your existence? For example, is it the nurturing of relationships, the pursuit of knowledge, the quest for inner peace? These are the facets that define your essence, the guiding stars that illuminate your path and help you cross the bridge to awesomeness.

Next, cast your gaze towards the horizon of your aspirations. What are the intentions that beckon to you, the dreams that have nestled themselves in the chambers of your heart? Some may be towering peaks, while others may be gentle inclines, but each holds its own significance in shaping the landscape of your journey.


Now, comes the delicate dance of ranking. It's not about assigning value in an absolute sense, but rather discerning the resonance, the pull, and the sense of urgency that each holds. It's about acknowledging that while all are worthy, some may require the spotlight while others find solace in the shadows.

In this act of self-reflection, you'll find the threads that weave your tapestry of purpose. You'll discover the subtle nuances that color your aspirations and the rhythm that orchestrates your priorities. And in doing so, you'll lay the foundation for a more organized, intentional, and fulfilled existence.

Remember, this is not a one-time endeavor, but a dynamic dance with the ever-evolving self. As the chapters of life unfold, revisit this inner sanctum, adjust the dials of your priorities, and let your core values serve as the compass guiding you toward a life rich in meaning and purpose.

Further Reading

As this Sensibly Selfish Series continues, further resources will be added below. Please feel free to come back at a later date as the updates come in, or comment below or reach out directly.