Four Fundamentals For Forty+

Four Fundamentals For Forty+

Sep 22, 2023
Words to Empow[Toc]

In the grand scheme of life's challenges, we often look for ways to make a difference. These four simple yet powerful fundamental words can serve as guiding lights no matter what challenges you face. Each word holds a unique significance, a potential to transform not only our journeys but also the world at large.

Words are not merely linguistic constructs; they are profound keys to unlocking the deeper mysteries of existence. They provide a framework for the complexities of human experience, serving as timeless guides that transcend cultural boundaries and time itself.

Take a look at the four words below and have pen and paper at hand. Jot down your thoughts and beliefs relating to the words you are about to encounter. Note your thoughts and take time to contemplate the feelings that arise. It is in this process you will unlock your true life fundamentals.


The first word might catch you off guard. It's a term that transcends mere language; it's a universal understanding that dwells within us all no matter where we live on the planet! Swearing, though often dismissed or even frowned upon, is a form of expressive release. If your upbringing was punctuated with colorful language, you likely find it to be a natural means of emotive expression.

Surprisingly, there are merits to such linguistic expletives:

- Forges connections with others.

- Anchors you in the present moment.

- Cultivates social bonds.

- Offers a channel for authentic self-expression.

- Releases pent-up emotions and frustrations.

- Some even claim that a fervent exclamation can alleviate physical pain.

Research suggests that those who pepper their speech with profanities tend to be more intellectually nimble and happier. However, a note of caution: like any potent tool, it's most effective when used judiciously, in appropriate contexts, and certainly not in the presence of young ears.

“Swearing is my mind’s way of doing jumping jacks.” Unknown.


Clutching onto grievances, harboring resentment, and nursing old wounds can corrode your well-being far more than they affect the perceived wrongdoer. Lingering animosity, if left unchecked, can fester, eroding both mental and physical health.

To forgive is to liberate yourself. It's an act of reclaiming agency over your emotions, releasing the tether that binds you to past transgressions. In granting forgiveness, you grant yourself freedom—the freedom to heal, to grow, and to find joy in the present moment.

This seemingly simple act ripples with profound implications. It fosters compassion and douses the flames of stress. Forgiveness, however, is not a tacit approval of what transpired. It's a declaration that you refuse to let the past dictate your future.

Remember, forgiveness extends not only to others but also to yourself. Extending clemency to oneself may be the most potent form of all. It's a recognition of your humanity, an acknowledgment that imperfection is woven into the fabric of existence.

“The practice of forgiveness is our most important contribution to the healing of the world.”

― Marianne Williamson


What does it truly mean to live a life of fulfillment? It's a journey that begins with the courageous act of releasing fear and untangling the web of emotions that threaten to ensnare our inner world. When the chaos within finds its equilibrium, the external world, too, falls into harmony. To dismantle conflicts, eradicate corruption, and alleviate poverty, we must first unshackle ourselves from the chains of fear that bind us.

At its core, it's your outlook on life that holds the key. By facing life's challenges without donning the cloak of victimhood, without dwelling in complaints and disempowerment, and by nurturing gratitude for the blessings you possess, you unlock the door to true fulfillment and freedom.

The path to fulfillment and freedom is paved with deceptively simple steps:

- Embrace and love your body, imperfections and all.

- Chase your dreams, those that beat in rhythm with your heart, not the echoes of others.

- Release the grip of fears entwined with money, relationships, and mortality.

- Immerse yourself in novel experiences, explore diverse cultures, savor exotic cuisines, and wander through uncharted territories.

- Triumph over addictions, whether to food, social media, alcohol, or other vices.

- Understand that struggles are the crucible that forges inner strength.

- Be authentically you, for there is no one else like you in this world.

- Trust in the symphony of life, even when you can't decipher its melodies.

- Extend a helping hand to those less equipped to navigate life's challenges.

- Comprehend that in giving, you also receive.

- Stand steadfast in your core beliefs, even when the world's currents threaten to pull you astray.

Freedom also entails a graceful detachment from the emotional tides of others. It means relinquishing the weight of expectations, the sting of disappointments, and the shadows of projections we cast on those around us.

“If we shift as we age toward appreciating everyday pleasures and relationships rather than toward achieving, having, and getting, and if we find this more fulfilling, then why do we take so long to do it? Why do we wait until we’re old? The common view was that these lessons were hard to learn. Living is a kind of skill. The calm and wisdom of old age are achieved over time.”

Atul Gawande, Being Mortal: Medicine and What Matters in the End


Among the four F's, 'Fun' holds a special place, for within its embrace lies a wealth of well-being. It's a powerful antidote to the pervasive toxin of stress, known to insidiously contribute to weight gain and compromise our immune systems.

Make it a ritual to carve out moments of mirth and levity in your daily routine. Engage in activities that elicit joy and wear a smile like a badge of honor. This commitment to playfulness translates to lower stress levels, a surplus of positive emotions, more restful slumbers, enhanced coping mechanisms, and enriched relationships.

Fun is a tapestry woven from the threads of simple yet profound actions:

- Decide, each morning, to greet the day with a smile.

- Pause after completing a task and indulge in a whimsical dance of celebration.

- Send a loved one a joke or a light-hearted comment, a small gesture with a potential for great impact.

- Offer a spontaneous smile to a passing stranger, a reminder of the shared thread of humanity.

- Invest time in the company of those who effortlessly kindle your happiness.

- Take some time out to Kidult, you can read more by following this link.

“Even though you’re growing up, you should never stop having fun.” – Nina Dobrev

Case Story: Lorraine's Embrace of the Four F Words

Lorraine, at 46 was on a quest for personal growth and self-discovery. Over one month, she embarked on a transformative journey alongside her personal development coach, diving deep into the essence of the Four Fundamentals.

Week 1: The Power of Swearing

Lorraine found herself face-to-face with a challenge that initially seemed uncomfortable: embracing swearing as a means of emotional expression. At first, it felt foreign and awkward, but as the week unfolded, she discovered a surprising sense of liberation. The act of swearing became a cathartic release, a way to authentically connect with her emotions and confront life's challenges head-on. Though her new skill of swearing was always under her breath, Lorraine learned that language, even in its rawest form, can be a powerful tool for self-expression and a potential method to connect with others.

Week 2: Fulfill - Unearthing Passion and Purpose

Recognizing that forgiveness was a hurdle for her, Lorraine shifted her focus to fulfillment for week two. In this exploration, she delved into the depths of her aspirations, seeking to unearth what truly ignited her soul. Through introspection and guidance, Lorraine began to uncover a path toward ultimate freedom and fulfillment. This week marked a pivotal turning point in her journey, as she realized that by pursuing her own Sensibly Selfish dreams, being present in the moment, and enjoying the smallest of things, she could break free from the chains of resentment and find her true calling.

Week 3: Embracing Playfulness and Joy

With newfound purpose, Lorraine embarked on a week dedicated to embracing the concept of fun. One particular challenge stood out - asking for a pizza at a well-known fast-food establishment that does not serve pizza! It was an experience that brought forth laughter and a sense of lightheartedness. This exercise served as a reminder that amidst life's responsibilities, there is immense value in carving out moments of joy and playfulness. Lorraine learned that incorporating fun into her daily routine was not only liberating but also essential for maintaining a balanced and joyful life.

Week 4: Forgiveness - The Final Frontier

Returning to the theme of forgiveness, Lorraine faced her most formidable challenge yet. Confronting deep-seated grievances and resentments. This was a tough week, with lots of emotion yet it led to self-healing and self-compassion. Through introspection and guided exercises, Lorraine unearthed the power of forgiveness - not only for others but, crucially, for herself. This week brought about a profound sense of liberation, as she released the weight of past transgressions and found a newfound sense of inner peace.

Your One Shot Is Now

In this singular journey through life, the choice is yours now: to laugh or to weep. Even if you believe in reincarnation, you are here, right now, on planet Earth. We only get this chance, this one body or vessel to serve us, we are the only person we will spend our whole lives with.


You may not know what your reason for being here is and that is okay provided you make sure each day is full of life. Life, after all, is meant to be lived in all its vibrant hues. The four F's — F***, Forgiveness, Freedom, and Fun — will paint a unique portrait for each individual, what will your portrait look like?

“Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive”. Elbert Hubbard