Be More Sensibly Selfish

Be More Sensibly Selfish

Jun 27, 2023

Ignite Your Inner Fire, Reclaim Your Happiness

As a woman, you possess the power to create a life that fulfills your deepest desires and unleashes the extraordinary adventure that awaits you. Yet, amidst the chaos of daily obligations and the relentless pursuit of pleasing others, we often forget our own magnetic force—the ability to center ourselves in our own universe. It's time to rewrite the narrative on selfishness and embrace a new paradigm: being "Sensibly Selfish."

Renowned author and spiritual teacher Kenneth McLean illuminates the path, stating, "True Selfishness leads to boundless joy because it stems from the genuine desire to feel as good as possible. By aligning our actions with our desires, rather than someone else's, we maintain equilibrium." Such desires, energized by the life force within us, never manifest as harmful actions.

For women, following our desires and finding pleasure becomes a catalyst that strengthens relationships, nourishes our children, increases abundance, and positively impacts the world. We are vessels overflowing with unconditional love and acceptance. By continuously fueling ourselves with joy, we provide sustenance for everyone in our lives.

Conversely, when we neglect our own happiness, resentment and anger fill the void, tarnishing our relationships. We give those we love the most from an empty cup which has nothing to give

As midlife women, it is our responsibility to rediscover what brings us happiness and reconnect with our innate power. We must reignite our feminine fire, drawing from ancient methods that have stood the test of time. Just as fire destroys, it also replenishes and fuels new growth.

Igniting Your Inner Fire

Igniting your inner fire begins with reconnecting to your passions, desires, and authentic self.

Here are some steps to help you ignite your inner fire:

1. Self-Reflection: Take time for introspection and self-reflection. Explore what truly excites and inspires you. What activities or pursuits bring you joy and a sense of fulfillment? Reflect on your values, dreams, and aspirations important to you today.

2. Uncover Your Passions: Identify your passions, those activities or interests that ignite a spark within you. It could be a hobby, a creative pursuit, a cause you deeply care about, or a career path that aligns with your talents and passions. Follow your curiosity and explore new areas of interest.

3. Prioritize Self-Care: Nurture your physical, mental, and emotional well-being. Engage in self-care practices that replenish your energy, such as exercise, meditation, adequate rest, and healthy nutrition. When you prioritize self-care, you create a strong foundation for igniting your inner fire.

4. Set Clear Intentions: Define your intentions and aspirations. Break them down into actionable steps and create a plan to pursue them. Setting intentions provides direction and motivation, fueling your inner fire to move forward with purpose and determination.

5. Surround Yourself with Inspiration: Seek out individuals, books, podcasts, or communities that inspire and uplift you. Engage with like-minded people who share similar passions and can support your journey. Surrounding yourself with positive influences helps stoke your inner fire.

6. Embrace Growth and Learning: Embrace lifelong learning with it comes growth. Seek opportunities for personal and professional development, whether through courses, workshops, or acquiring new skills. Embracing growth keeps your inner fire burning and opens doors to new possibilities.

7. Take Action: Ultimately, it's through action that you ignite your inner fire. Start taking small steps towards your goals and passions. Overcome fears and doubts by embracing the courage to pursue what truly lights you up. Embrace challenges as opportunities for growth and keep moving forward.

Igniting your inner fire is a personal journey that requires self-awareness, self-care, and a commitment to honoring your true self. Embrace the process, stay connected to your passions, and let your inner fire guide you towards a life of purpose and fulfillment.

As your internal fire intensifies, tap into your emotions, release outdated burdens of blame, guilt, and fear. Witness the transformation as your language flows effortlessly, your communication becomes harmonious, and your focus sharpens. No longer do you require excuses; instead, you follow an instinctual, passionate inferno.

Case Study: Laura's Journey to Sensibly Selfish Living

Laura, a vibrant and successful woman in her late 40s, had spent most of her life prioritizing the needs of others. As a devoted wife, loving mother, and dedicated employee, she constantly put her own desires on hold. As she reached peri-menopause not only did Laura realise her physical body was going through change but she had neglected her own overall well-being. Laura had lost touch with her true passions and aspirations. Determined to make a change, she embarked on a transformative journey towards Sensibly Selfish living.

Setting Boundaries:

Jane recognized the importance of setting boundaries to protect her time and energy. She started by carving out designated periods for self-care and personal pursuits. She communicated her needs openly with her family, explaining the significance of her own well-being for the overall harmony of the household. By setting clear boundaries and saying no when necessary, Jane regained control over her time and regained a sense of empowerment.

Making Rational Choices:

Jane realized that making rational choices aligned with her values and long-term goals was crucial for her personal growth. She assessed her commitments and obligations, weighing their impact on her overall well-being. As a result, Jane made intentional decisions about where to invest her time and energy. She let go of obligations that no longer served her, freeing up space to pursue activities that brought her joy and fulfillment.

Balancing Self-Care and Others' Needs:

Laura discovered the delicate art of balancing self-care and attending to the needs of her loved ones. She understood that taking care of herself was not selfish, but rather a prerequisite for being present and supportive to those around her. Laura incorporated self-care practices into her daily routine, such as exercise, healthy food, meditation, and pursuing her own hobbies. By nourishing her own well-being, she became a source of positive energy and inspiration for her family and friends.

Cultivating Self-awareness and Personal Growth:

Laura embarked on a journey of self-discovery, seeking to cultivate self-awareness and foster personal growth. She engaged in self-reflection, journaling, and seeking guidance from mentors and coaches. Laura explored her passions, interests, and dreams that had been dormant for years. Through this process, she gained clarity on her true purpose and began taking steps towards realizing her full potential.

The Results:

Laura’s transformation was truly remarkable. By embracing Sensibly Selfish living, she experienced a profound shift in her overall happiness and fulfillment. Her relationships improved as she set healthy boundaries and communicated her needs effectively. Laura became an inspiration to her family and friends, showing them the importance of self-care and pursuing personal passions. She found a renewed sense of purpose and joy in her life, aligning her actions with her deepest desires.

Laura's journey serves as a powerful story, demonstrating the transformative power of being Sensibly Selfish. By prioritizing her own well-being, setting boundaries, making rational choices, and nurturing her personal growth in a holistic manner, she created a life filled with authenticity, fulfillment, and harmonious relationships.

A Morning Mindful Self-Care Routine

For those of you who have read so far and can feel the negativity creeping in: ‘I don’t have time’, ‘no one will support me’, ‘It is too hard to change’ JUST DO IT! Take the small steps, even if it is just one of the items on the list below, make it a natural part of your life and watch the magic happen.

1. Wake up with Intention: Start your day a little earlier than usual and set a positive intention. Take a few moments to focus on your breath, grounding yourself in the present moment. Affirm your commitment to self-care and make choices that align with your well-being.

2. Gratitude Practice: Begin your day with gratitude. Take a moment to reflect on three things you are grateful for. It could be simple pleasures, meaningful relationships, or personal achievements. Cultivating gratitude sets a positive tone for the day ahead.

3. Movement and Stretching: Engage in gentle movement and stretching to awaken your body and energize your senses. This can be a short yoga sequence, a brisk walk, or any form of physical activity that feels good to you. Tune into your body and move in a way that honors its needs.

4. Nourishing Breakfast: Prepare a nourishing breakfast that fuels your body and supports your well-being. Choose foods that provide sustained energy and nourishment, such as whole grains, fruits, vegetables, and protein sources. Eat mindfully, savoring each bite.

5. Mindfulness or Meditation: Dedicate a few moments to mindfulness or meditation. Find a quiet space where you can sit comfortably and focus on your breath, allowing thoughts to come and go without judgment. This practice helps to calm the mind, reduce stress, and cultivate self-awareness.

6. Journaling and Reflection: Take time to journal and reflect on your thoughts, emotions, and goals. Write down any insights, inspirations, or aspirations that arise during this time. Use this opportunity to connect with your inner self and gain clarity on what truly matters to you.

7. Setting Intentions for the Day: Set clear intentions for the day ahead. Identify one or two priorities or actions that align with your personal goals and values. By setting intentions, you create a sense of purpose and focus, guiding your actions throughout the day.

8. Self-Care Ritual: Incorporate a self-care activity that brings you joy and relaxation. It could be taking a soothing bath, practicing a hobby you love, reading a book, listening to uplifting music, or engaging in creative expression. This dedicated time for self-nurturing rejuvenates your spirit.

The ritual above is just an example, and you can tailor it to suit your preferences and schedule. The key is to start, incorporate one thing and when you feel comfortable start something new. By creating a consistent practice that allows you to prioritize self-care, set intentions, and cultivate a positive mindset you change your reality. By embracing this Sensibly Selfish ritual, you honor your own well-being and create a foundation for living a fulfilling and balanced life.

Becoming more Sensibly Selfish naturally illuminates your inner light. Imagine yourself as Emmental cheese, brimming with holes that, as you fill them with light, radiate brilliance into the world. Lighting your own candle doesn't dim your flame; it expands and creates more light. Sensibly Selfish means igniting others' candles after kindling your own.

As your light shines brightly, new creative endeavors beckon, keeping your internal flame aglow. Trust your inner resources, stand firm in your convictions, and remember that strength need not be aggressive or comparative. Being Sensibly Selfish means being enterprising, fostering compassion within yourself, handling emotions gently, and detaching from limiting beliefs.

Confidence born from self-assurance emits a transformative energy that dispels negativity encountered in others. If you're struggling to embrace Sensibly Selfishness, ask yourself:

  • What resonates with me?
  • What liberates and uplifts me?
  • Which old patterns must I change?
  • What is my truth?

Trust your intuition, follow your heart, and become the leader of your own life.

Connect with the essence of being Sensibly Selfish, reclaim your heart, open yourself to new possibilities, and never cease your quest to be authentically you. Your happiness holds the power to shape the future of the world. Whether through sacred rituals, journaling, self-reflection, or seeking guidance from mentors and coaches, listen to the inner voice that knows what it needs. Embrace Sensibly Selfishness and embark on the extraordinary journey of a lifetime.

Every woman has the potential to embark on her own unique journey towards Sensibly Selfish living, unlocking her true power and embracing a life that honors her needs and desires.

Why not join in the conversation in the Facebook Group and share your own experiences and insights. Or if you crave a conversation about the transformative power of being Sensibly Selfish. Together, let's illuminate the path towards joy and fulfillment.